Jennifer Hargrave's Unique Approach to Family Law

Thank you, Laura. Happy to be here.

Sure. Um, I, well, let’s see, if I go way back to, to the early 90s when I was an undergrad student, um, I actually thought I was going to go into journalism, but I ended up being a political science major and so ended up joining the pre law club and thought, I guess I’ll go to law school.

So I really went into law school with not a clear idea of why I wanted to be a lawyer or what that meant. Um, that was back in the days of LA law, so I’m totally dating myself, right? Uh, and. So when I was in law school, I really, I didn’t have any interest in family law. I saw family law as being just wrought with high conflict. Um, during that time, there were a lot of shootings happening in family in courthouses, um, within family law cases. And that was like my perception of what family law was, was just high conflict, a lot of animosity, a lot at stake. So I thought I was going to be a transactional attorney. So I did that for a bit.

Um, I started off. And civil litigation. And then I moved to in house counsel role in the financial services industry, and I learned a lot. It was very valuable, especially as you know, a person, you’re young 20s kind of learning about all the different financial types of investments and, and that whole world was really opened up to me.

But I learned about something in the early 2000s called collaborative law. And that was my doorway into family law. I was so intrigued at the prospect of being able to help families navigate divorce through divorce, uh, without all the conflict. And, you know, I grew up as a child in the seventies and all my friends’ parents were getting divorced.

Right. And I really, my parents didn’t get divorced, but I lived in fear of them getting a divorce. And I saw what it looked like on the weekends when you couldn’t have your friend over because they were staying with the other parent and how it just, you know, the parenting schedule, how it was so disruptive in the lives of children.

Yeah, so, so, yeah, so I came into family law through the collaborative divorce door and, um, as a practitioner of family law, not all cases can be collaborative. So I had to hone my skills in litigation and trial work. And so now I do, uh, both collaborative cases, but we also do traditional litigation cases, but I always do it with the hope of really helping families navigate this process with an eye towards their future and that we don’t get lost in the craziness of the conflict. It can be very distracting when you’re in it. So I really want them to achieve their goals so they can have their best life when the divorce is over.

You are for sure. Yeah, I, I recognize really through the work with my clients, like they’re the ones who taught me that divorce is always a period of transition, um, but it’s also a tremendous opportunity for transformation, right?

So often when we’re in a bad marriage, you’re just like, feel stuck and powerless. And like, we can’t, you know, we can’t express ourselves. We’re always trying to navigate life with this other person and all the resentments and the hurt feelings and all of that. And, you know, if we really look at divorce as a journey, um, of personal transformation, it changes your mindset and it shifts your focus to how do I step into who I was really created to be. And my greatest successes in divorce are You know, when I get to walk alongside my clients who make that transformation, and it’s phenomenal.

Sure. So family law encompasses everything that’s in our family code. I’m in Texas. So that’s like, you know, we’re working out of the family code for us. Primarily our focus is divorce. That’s where I’m like, most of our clients come to us because they’re contemplating a divorce, um, or they’ve just been served papers and their spouses filed for divorce.

Right. Uh, but divorce itself. Um, I always say it’s, it’s like two lawsuits in one. Uh, what a deal. You know, it’s both, um, what we call a suit affecting parent child relationship. So it’s definitely dealing with the custody element. If you have children who are under the age of 18, even if you have adult children, we still need to have conversations because they’re part of the family dynamic too. But, and also, so you’ve got your child custody part and then the property division. So most of our clients are high net worth. Uh, individuals who are, you know, who have worked hard for their assets and they’re concerned about the future and how they can preserve and protect their assets. Um, you know, divorce is one of those areas where, you know, people are giving up half of the estate basically.

Um, and so navigating that and really looking at the types of assets. Um, that are in the estate, what makes sense, you know, if you’ve got a high income earner and somebody who’s been a more traditional stay at home parent, like some assets are going to make more sense for one person to have than the other, uh, just simply because one person can ride out the risks more than the other person, right?

The stay at home probably needs more access to liquidity where the other person may be able to, you know, take more of the, the high, high risk. Assets. So we just see, you know, we’re helping our clients navigate that each step of the way.

um, divorce firms is that we really understand that, um, you know, people feel fear and vulnerability. And a lot of times when you’re in that situation, you think you want to go hire the meanest, baddest lawyer to protect you, right? And so a lot of law firms, that’s what they’re advertising. They’re marketing the, you know, we’re the meanest, we’re the baddest, we’re the most aggressive. We just recognize that we’re, we are dealing with your family and having the meanest, baddest, most aggressive attorney is not always going to help you accomplish your goals.

What you need is somebody who’s, you know, empathetic and understands what you’re going through and has patience and time to be with you, but also who understands. Problem solving. And that’s what I love most about the work we do is we are problem solvers. So we have a puzzle. We have to put all the pieces of the puzzle together and really helping our clients in their decision making because they are the decision maker, helping them feel empowered to make the best decisions.

Um, I think is the thing that differentiates us. So, you know, if somebody calls me and they say, I want a pit bull attorney, I’m going to tell them, you know what, there’s lots. Some of those to choose from, and that’s just not going to be us. But if you want somebody who’s really going to help educate you, help, help you be empowered and be the decision maker in your divorce, where we stay focused on what’s going to make your life better and fighting with your ex is not going to make your life better. It just isn’t.

There are times that we need to fight like we, I get it there. And we do we’re, we’re good litigators, but it’s not, it’s not our only trick in our, in our back, right? Like we do that when we need to do it, but there are so many other ways to get to resolution that are so much better for the family. So that’s what, well, that’s what our focus is.

Well, I, you know, we listen to our clients and we know what their worries and concerns are. We know that for the person who’s been living in a marriage and they’re, they’re terrified of what the divorce, the impact is going to have on their children. We get that, you know, we’re able to speak to that. Um, we’re able to provide tools and resources.

That are outside of, you know, the normal box. So if you think your marriage can be saved, like we have great resources to help connect you with wonderful therapists in our area to really help work on the marriage. Um, you know, I say, if you, if you don’t need a divorce, don’t get a divorce. Like you only get a divorce because you need it, but when you need it, it’s going to make your life a lot better. Um, and so, yeah, I think, uh, I don’t know if that answered your question but

Well, obviously, COVID was a huge time of reinvention. I mean, I hate to use the word pivot because I really got sick of using that word. But, you know, we learned how to work remotely. We learned how to meet people. The needs of our clients during that time when we couldn’t be in person. And a lot of that has carried over. And I think it’s very beneficial, you know, it’s hard to take time away from work to go and meet in a lawyer’s office. And so being able to have zoom consultations and zoom strategy sessions and zoom mediations is all great. I think there was a lot of strike that came out of that. I think, um, as I, as I look towards the future, the biggest challenge is, attracting, you know, continuing to grow and attract the team members who are really aligned with our values.

And we have phenomenal team members. I’m so proud of the team that we have built to this day. But as I look out, you know, we need new lawyers to come join us in our mission of really helping families through this process. And so that I think is, um, one of the things right now that keeps me awake at night is just, Wanting to find those people who really feel passionate the way we do and want to join us.

Yeah. I mean, I, we are going to continue to grow. We’re going to grow, um, across Texas is my, my plan and my hope. Um, I know that there are other lawyers out there who do share this value and this commitment. And I, I want to underpin that because I really think, um, the thing that I’ve discovered. In the firm that we’ve built together with the team is how enjoyable the practice of law is.

And I think that that’s something that traditionally lawyers haven’t felt. I mean, when you can have that camaraderie and the collegiality and you really feel like you’re all there to help and support each other. It’s amazing. Amazing. And, um, and so as I look out, I really want the practice of law to be something that is enjoyable for our lawyers, like where they really feel they’re able to balance the personal life, but also provide meaningful, really good work, very high level, um, where they can grow in their own skills. So that’s part of a mission that I have in growing. This firm is also growing just the, a place where lawyers can really be their very best lawyer selves in serving our clients.

Thank you, Laura.